Monday, May 9, 2011

Weight . . . UGH!

My heart is breaking.  I'm also filled with guilt.  Autumn has gained so much weight over the past 2 years and I can't help but blame myself.  I have also gained so much weight in the last 2 years, weight that I shouldn't be gaining becausae I had a gastric bypass in 2008.  I can't blame anyone but myself for this.

So the story begins in June 2009 when I decided to put Autumn on Risperdone.  It's an anti-psychotic drug used to help kids with symptoms of Autism.  It did wonders for her instantly and I was so happy we tried it.  Here Autumn is in 2009 right when she started the drug.  She is so skinny here (largely due to Adderal, which she takes for her ADHD). 

Autumn June 2009- Just started Risperdone

So the weight started to creep on slowly.  I didn't notic it at first but if you look at pictures through the months and years you can see it coming on.

December 2009
 By August 2010, 1 year after she started the Risperdone she gained about 50 pounds.  Not healthy or good, still I didn't really pay it any mind.

August 2010
 Autumn is going through puberty too, which can't help.  She hates her body.  She hates that it's maturing.  She hates having breasts, underarm hair, pupic hair.  She hates growing up. 

Autumn December 2010
 This is a current photo of Autumn.  She is beautiful.  She is smart and funny and she still hates growing up!  She is approximately 80 pounds overweight.  She can not satisfy her hunger.  I finally am set on changing her medication.  We have tried changing it 2 times before but I couldn't handle her outbursts so I put her back on teh Risperdone.  This time I'm going to stick to my guns and play it out.  It will probably be torture but I want to help her out a little bit with her weight. 
Autumn May 2011
 Her psychiatrist gave me two drugs to research and decide on.  We have already tried Serequel, didn't like it.  Now it's between Abilify and Geodon.  I have researched and researched and I'm still not sure which one to pick.  Both are heavy duty anti-psychotics, both have the potential for weight gain.  I hate having to decide.  I just wish she was "normal".  I just wish I could control her on my own.  I'm so heavy hearted about this.  The more I read about hese medications the more depressed I get that my 11 year old is on them!!!!  Ugh!!!!  
Me and my girls, May 2011
I love my Autumn.  I just want her to be healthy.  Having 80 extra pounds is not healthy.  I have 80 extra pounds on me too.  We need to get healthy.  I need to do this for Autumn and for Rayne.  I need to get motivated!  I need to decide which drug I'm switching Autumn to.  I need a lot of things . . . UGH!


No comments: