Thursday, March 3, 2011

A sour day.

So Autumn has been having a few set backs lately.  I had to increase her Risperdal and it has helped a little bit but it's not a miracle drug, Autumn still has to do the work!  I'm thinking I might have to increase her Adderall as well.  Her body has been SOOOOO restless!!!!

She has been stuggling in school too.  She has melt downs over math . . . ripping papers, throwing everything on the floor, drawing on her desk.  It's not pretty. 

She pounds her fists.  Stomps her feet.  Taps with her fingers constantly.  She screams, "My feet, my feet are frustrated!" 

I spoke to her psychiatrist, whom I love, and she reminded me that Autumn shows us what is going on with her psychologically through her body.  She communicates using her body.  I forgot about that and needed the reminder. 

Today ended on a very sour note. 

We were at my parent's house for our usual Thursday night dinner.  My sister, niece Riley, and Autumn were upstairs playing.  Hilary yelled for me to come upstairs . . . I knew that could only mean one thing . . . Autumn was acting up.

Riley didn't want to play with Autumn.  Autumn took offense.  She started to rip up paper and throw it at Riley and my sister.  I gave Autumn the to the number 3 to pull it together.  She could not.  I had to physically remove her from the room.

I told her we were going home.  This did not go over well and started the 20 minute cry, drool, 2-year-old tantrum.  By the look in her eyes I could tell she was not going to snap out of it.  We left my mother's early without having dessert with everyone.  Autumn did not like this conciquence.  I explained that she made a choice, she chose to react in a way that was not appropriate, therefor the conciquence was that we would go home.

Rayne, Autumn, and I left my mom's house with Autumn screaming, crying, and miserable. 

She continued to cry the whole way home.  I needed gas, she cried through that.  Poor Rayne sat through the care ride home.  We got home, still crying.  Oh and let me explain it's not just a fant cry, it's a "I'm pissed at the world and I'm going to make everyone else pissed too" cry. 

I gave her her sleeping pill and a Risperdal and told her to get in the shower.  She complained that her Risperdal changed color (new manufacturaer they were red, now pink).  She complained her thighs itched.  She complained she was growing hair in all the wrong places.  She complained she felt wet (ah yeah, it is a shower!).  But at least she stopped her crying . . . for the shower. 

She began crying again when drying off and I tried to process what happened.  I told her it's okay to be upset that Riley didn't want to play with her but the way she reacted was not right. 

She ended up going right to bed.  And I am beat!!!!

March 25th I go to court with Autumn's dad for child support.  I'm not looking forward to this.  He wants visitation as well.  Autumn does not want visitation.  I am trusting God knows what's best for Autumn and will protect her from pain and hurt.

Today started out on the right foot but ended on the wrong foot . . .

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