Thursday, March 31, 2011

Loved

What is God trying to teach me?
I think it's that His love should be all I need.
Single.
I'm single.
I'm okay with this.
Always have been.
But you know what I'm not okay with?
Meeting man after man who is not the one.

Why?

Why do I meet men who I connect with so deeply then BAM! NOPE YOU'RE NOT THE ONE!

I would rather not meet them, not know that I have a great connection. 

"Almost Amy, he's almost the one, but nahhhh wait a little longer."

I envy woman who have a good man. 

Listen, I know marriage is not a piece of cake.
I see first hand that it's crap a lot of the times.
That working as a team is hard work.
I think that's why I'm okay with being single.
I like being independent.
I like getting my own way, ALL of the time.

But yet . . . I want to be loved.
Cherished.
Appreciated.
Held.
Sought after.

I don't know.
I struggle with the notion of "I'M GREAT SINGLE" and "I WANT A MAN". 

It's stupid I know.  But true.

Cried myself to sleep last night.  Suppose I needed to cry. 

I don't know, I'm rambling.
Just had to get this off my chest.

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