I've been thinking about love a lot lately and am realizing that LOVE is at the core of most of my wounds that haven't healed yet.
This week at church my pastor taught us how to do a Breath Prayer. It's a prayer you say to the rhythm of your breathing.
THIS IS MY BREATH PRAYER:
"GOD . . . I NEED TO FEEL LOVED"
I know that when people look at my life they may think I'm crazy to need to feel loved because I am loved and love is all around me. This is true. I am loved and I do have love all around me however the TRUTH is that does not mean I FEEL loved. It does not mean I believe that I am loved. It does not mean that the deep wounds of not feeling wanted, or not feeling like I fit in, or not feeling loved for who I am have healed or that the love I have today even reaches those deep wounds.
This is what I'm working on right now. I'm working on feeling God's love but not only feeling, BELIEVING I AM LOVED, in fact that is what I'm going to change my breath prayer to, "GOD . . . I NEED TO BELIEVE I AM LOVED".
I run to so many other things when I don't feel loved or accepted.
Well really I run to two things, food and men.
I use food and men to heal my wound, but guess what, food and men don't heal wounds, only one thing does, the awesome power of the Holy Spirit.
The exciting part is I'm getting there. I'm being molded, I'm being stretched. I'm being polished.
It hurts, it's scary, and I have messed up a bunch of times during this process but at least I'm getting there.