Thursday, October 28, 2010



I struggle.

Big time, with money.

I make decent money.

I work two jobs.


I do not give with a joyful heart.


I give to my church, to God, out of obligation.

If I don't give a certain amount in my head I feel guilty.

My pastor told me I'm being legalistic.

I need to change.

I need to look at how I'm spending my money.

I need to give back to God because it's all His anyway.

I need to do it with a glad heart.

I have some research to do.

Some soul searching.

I need to give.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Real life

Not sure what to write tonight.  So much is going on.  On Thursday I am going to meet with my pastor.  I occasionally meet with him just to process some of the things going on in my life.  One huge thing is about to happen and I want him to pray and bless me for this adventure. 

I'm taking a leap of faith.  I'm going to India!

Words really can't explain what is going on but I feel like my "real" life is merging with my "spiritual" life.  I feel like I'm becoming my authentic self . . . it's pretty mind blowing and amazing!  

If you'd like to see where I'm going click here.

This is really amazing.  I will be going by myself . . . BY MYSELF.  No one to distract me, no one to clutch onto, no one to use as a crutch . . . it's scary but it's what I need to do. 

I told my mother I was going today.  She told me, "You can't go by yourself!".  I knew she would react that way.  I simply told her, "God will protect me." 

I can't wait to be Jesus' hands and feet.  I've been waiting my whole life to get enough courage to do this.  It took my heart being broken to give me the nerve . . . for that I am thankful.  Something beautiful is coming out of my heartache.

Speaking of heartache that's a whole other post!!!!!

So my journey begins.  I have no idea how I'm going to fund this trip.  I have no idea how I will prepare Autumn for 3 weeks away from me.  I have no clue how I'm going to travel by myself.  It's pretty exciting!!!! 

Please pray for me and my journey to India!

Monday, October 25, 2010

Since July 27, 2010

Wow, it's been a long time.  I quit blogging because I just was too, well confused, stressed, and just all around unfocused.  Well I'm back!!!!  And there has been a lot going on since then!  I'm off to work but can't wait to catch up!!!!
~Love lost
~God's calling
~Summer Camp
~Family fueds
~Love lost again
~Weight gain