Sunday, July 4, 2010

It’s been a long time and my 36th birthday

IT’S BEEN SUCH A LONG TIME AND I HAVE SO MUCH TO WRITE ABOUT. I’M TOYING WITH THE IDEA OF STARTING A NEW BLOG TO DOCUMENT THE DAILY LIFE OF AUTUMN AND HER STRUGGLES. I STRUGGLE SOMETIMES WITH HER BEING SO HIGH FUNCTIONING AND THAT SHE DOESN’T “LOOK” LIKE SOMEONE THAT STRUGGLES WITH AUTISM OR ADHD OR ODD BUT THERE ARE SMALL THINGS THAT HAPPEN EACH DAY THAT CLEARLY DEFINE HER DISABILITIES. SO ANYWAY, I AM BACK AND I’M HAPPY TO BE BACK!

On my 35th birthday I made a list of things I want to accomplish before my 36th birthday. I turned 36 on May 5th. Let’s see how I did . . . I’m kinda scared to evaluate myself!:

1) Run an entire 5K. I've started to train this week. I'm excited and it feels so good. NOPE, NOT AT ALL, VERY DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF!!!
2) Lose another 45 pounds, making my weight loss 165 total. HELLO!!! WITHOUT RUNNING AND NOW EATING MORE I HAVE NOT LOST ANY WEIGHT, IN FACT I GAINED 10 POUNDS!!!!!

3) Live a life free of secrets and demons . . . I want to live in the light, once and for all!!!! I’M DOING THIS, IT FEELS GOOD. IS STILL A STRUGGLE BUT I LOVE TRYING TO LIVE IN THE LIGHT!!!!

4) Finally paint my bedroom and hallways (I have had the paint for 7 months now!) PAINTED MY HALLWAY AND MY BEDROOM!!!! HAVE A FEW TOUCH UP AREAS TO COMPLETE BUT AS A WHOLE IT IS DONE!!

5) Simplify, simplify, simplify. NOT AS SIMPLE AS I’D LIKE, NEED SOME MORE WORK!


6) Come up with a filing system and stick to it. I HAVE WENT THROUGH A TON OF PAPERS, GOT RID OF SO MUCH, NOW JUST HAVE TO PUT IT ALL TOGETHER
7) Go on a mission trip, no matter how small or large . . . follow God's calling. I’VE BEEN SIDE TRACKED BIG TIME. I’M GOING TO CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR THIS.


8) Fall in love :) WELL I THOUGHT I WAS IN LOVE 2 TIMES THIS YEAR, I AM LEARNING SO MUCH ABOUT MYSELF AND GOD, I’M EXCITED TO SEE WHAT GOD HAS FOR ME IN MY 36TH YEAR.

9) Pay off my debt to my parents and my sister. YES! I HAVE PAID OFF MY MOM $1300 AND MY SISTER $700!!!

10) Live debt free. STRUGGLING WITH THIS, NEED TO STOP SPENDING!

11) Save two full months of living expenses and but it in my online savings account so I won't be tempted to touch it!!!! YEAH RIGHT!


12) Become comfortable with telling my mom, dad, and sisters I love them on a regular basis. Strange but true we do not do this and I wish we did. I can tell my kids and my close friends I love them but for some reason it makes me feel really, really vulnerable to tell my family I love them. GETTING THERE!


13) Transform my living space into a space of tranquility and peace . . . somewhere I can pray, meditate and meet with my Savior on a daily basis. NOT FULLY THERE YET!

14) Floss every day . . . one of my best friends is a dentist . . . I'm sure you wonder how I live with the guilt:)? I'm such a rebel!!!! MAN DOES SARAH WISH I DID THIS ONE!

15) Send out Christmas Cards. DIDN’T DO IT, BUT WAS PART OF MY LIVING DEBT FREE, TOO MUCH MONEY!!


16) Put carpet down in Autumn and Rayne's room so they don't have to live with cold concrete floors for another year!!!! DIDN’T DO IT, BECAUSE OF OUR FLOOD THIS YEAR!

17) Form a habit of prayer and devotion. I want to be in constant communication with God and look to his word each day. OH I WISH I COULD PUT "COMPLETED" ON THIS ONE:(!

18) Learn how to ice skate. I never learned when I was a kid . . . :( I was always the kid with boots on the lake! NOPE DIDN’T DO THIS!

19) Plant a vegetable garden. DID THIS BUT FAILED MISERABLELY AT IT, THERE'S ALWAYS NEXT YEAR RIGHT?

20) Learn to drink water as a health practice, not a beverage! (My good friend Dan has been trying to teach me that for years!) UGH, DIDN’T DO THIS!

21) Somehow organized my pictures. NOPE!


22) Complete my tattoo on my back. COULDN’T AFFORD THIS ONE!


23) Grow my hair into a new style. DID THIS AND IT’S STILL GROWING!

24) Go on a solitude retreat. Meaning go away for a day or two by myself. DID NOT DO THIS
25) Start a trip fund for Rayne's High School Graduation Trip. SHe wants to go to LONDON! DIDN’T DO THIS YET!

26) Throw a lot of crap out!!!!! DONE THIS, SO MUCH MORE TO THROW OUT! "OUT WITH THE OLD, OUT WITH THE OLD".

27) Get my body checked for skin cancer! NOPE! 


28) Pray with my children. UGH! NOPE!

29) Go to the beach a lot this summer! NOPE!

30) Have a fantastic Halloween Costume this year! I DID LOOK GOOD AS A HIPPEE THIS YEAR!


31) Start my poetry journal again. NOPE 


32) Learn to like one new vegtable (yuck!). NOPE!


33) Read more . . . I just never get around to it! NOPE!


34) Love Jesus with all my heart, soul, and mind. STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS


35) Live simply so that others may simply live ~ Ghandi AMEN

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